Back to my Mom Pieces:
The months of October through December 2009 were a roller coaster. Mom was at home with home care several times a day, me stopping in 2 to 3 days a week, my sister coming by most days and my Auntie A. coming and staying for a few days at a time. Mom struggled with the loss of some independence. She was still driving but just to the post office or church etc. Her breakfast out with friends was more important than ever. Mom had to keep her colostomy in mind at all times and she never got used to caring for it. She was nervous leaving the house in case something went wrong and being in close proximity to the hospital was a necessity. Mom had to take more than a few trips to the ER for help. They got used to seeing her unfortunately.
One Saturday evening Pasith, the kids and I went to town to have supper at her house. After supper Pasith took the kids out to his brother’s house. My Mom went into the bathroom and after a few minutes I realized that she hadn’t come out. I went to ask her if she was okay and saw that she was in the bathroom with the light off. And she wouldn’t answer me. Finally I told her that if she didn’t answer me I was coming in to the bathroom. I didn’t know if she had fainted. I hadn’t heard her fall but I wasn’t taking any chances. She cracked the door open but still wouldn’t talk – she just didn’t want me to come in. I was terrified and didn’t know what to think or do. I asked her if she needed to go to the hospital. I begged her to talk to me. I called Pasith and asked him to come back. I needed his help to get her in and out of the car. I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with. So he came back and by that time I had gotten her out of the bathroom and she agreed to go to the hospital – across the street. She wasn’t able to walk that far so Pasith and I helped her into the car and drove her over. I went in with her and Pasith went back to his brothers. I never found out what happened in the bathroom. I don’t remember what happened at the hospital and I don’t know how long we were there. The only thing that has stuck with me from that night was the horrible helplessness not knowing what to do when she wouldn’t answer me. I have the vision of standing in the kitchen doorway staring down the hall at the bathroom door and not seeing any light underneath and wondering if I needed to call an ambulance, my husband, my sister or all three. I had been cautious in all of my previous visits over the last few months but after that I just knew that I had to be prepared for anything.
She and I were so thankful that we had been there. I’m not sure what would have happened if we hadn’t been. God was definitely watching over Mom while she was sick. There always seemed to be people with her when she needed help.