In my memory the month of July, 2009 is thin.\u00a0 It feels spread out like a dream that seems to last all night.\u00a0 It was very confusing just feeling like the answer is just around the corner but when you get around the corner it’s all changed on you again.\u00a0 Stumbling in the dark not knowing where you’re going.\u00a0 Pasith and I had just moved a few months earlier and had been excited to get started on projects and settling in.\u00a0 We had to make some tough choices about what was really important to get done and what could be put off.\u00a0 We had been planning a trip ending in Saskatchewan visiting my Dad\u2019s sister and his best friend.\u00a0 And we knew that had to stay in the summer agenda.<\/p>\n
Mom was struggling and I think feeling more and more afraid.\u00a0 I would ask her how she was doing and she would say \u201cOk.\u201d\u00a0 But I knew there was more to it.\u00a0 And I finally asked her to be honest with me.\u00a0 I was asking because I wanted to know and needed to know.\u00a0 It took her a while to trust my Aunt, sister and I and to see that we were there to help not control her life.\u00a0 I was watching for any small change that would indicate a huge change or catastrophe.\u00a0 Pasith\u2019s Dad had cancer and passed away a year before my Mom was diagnosed so Pasith and I had just been through a similar situation.\u00a0 We understood what could happen with cancer and how quickly it could turn on you.<\/p>\n
My Aunt A. came up for a visit a few weeks after the family gathering in Warroad. She was very concerned and wanted to be with Mom for some of her appointments but also just to be with her.\u00a0 Auntie A is the family caregiver and I don\u2019t know where our family would be without her.\u00a0 Auntie A. was staying with her and one afternoon Mom suddenly felt strange and tried to reach a chair to sit down in the kitchen.\u00a0 She missed and fainted on the floor hitting her hip and her forehead on the way down.\u00a0 Auntie A. panicked, rightfully so, and called 911.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know if Mom had a heart attack or a stroke.\u00a0 Mom lived a half a block from the hospital so the ambulance was there pretty quick.\u00a0 Auntie had been able to get Mom conscious and Mom crawled to the back steps of her apartment where the EMS tried to help her stand but she couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 They basically carried her outside and into the ambulance.\u00a0 She was checked and released in a few hours.\u00a0 There was no real explanation for her fainting except that her blood pressure and oxygen to her brain had suddenly dropped because she had tried to bend down.\u00a0 We were definitely a little more concerned about leaving her alone.\u00a0 Auntie A. decided to stay a few more days just to be sure.\u00a0 And we insisted on moving things up for her so she didn\u2019t have to bend down.<\/p>\n
Mom was stubborn and a little cranky about everyone making a fuss but yet I think she knew that we all just wanted to keep her safe.\u00a0 Over these weeks she was also complaining about another issue.\u00a0 To put it as delicately as possible her intestines weren\u2019t working well.\u00a0 She had talked to her doctor about it but the doctor didn\u2019t seem to be taking her very seriously.\u00a0 From what happened later we know that she was suffering a lot more than she let on at that time.\u00a0 So she was getting help from the ER doctor to try to find relief.<\/p>\n
I went with her for her mammogram in the middle of July.\u00a0 She stayed overnight at our house, for the last time, and we spent a large part of the day together.\u00a0 At the mammogram she had the first pictures taken and was getting dressed when the technician asked her to come back in for a few more pictures.\u00a0 They had spotted something under her arm.\u00a0 They had her contort into a nearly impossible position trying to get a better picture.\u00a0 They found a 2 centimeter tumor under her arm.\u00a0 It had been too far back for it to be caught on her previous tests.\u00a0 We thought we had the culprit.\u00a0 But something was telling me that this wasn\u2019t the whole story.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In my memory the month of July, 2009 is thin.\u00a0 It feels spread out like a dream that seems to last all night.\u00a0 It was very confusing just feeling like the answer is just around the corner but when you … Continue reading