It was around 11:30pm when the surgeon came to talk to us.\u00a0 He said that there were a lot of tumors throughout her abdomen, more than they had expected.\u00a0 They had gotten the majority of it but it had been just too much so they had to leave some behind.\u00a0 They had also done a colostomy; what Mom, along with the rest of us, dreaded the most.\u00a0 The surgeon said that someone would let us know when they were bringing her back up to her room.\u00a0 So we waited and waited.\u00a0 We got restless from exhaustion so we started wandering.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t find anyone \u2013 it was about 1:30am. \u00a0So we went up to her room, but she wasn\u2019t there and the nurses hadn\u2019t seen her yet.\u00a0 So we went up and down the elevators looking for good vending machines, and got a little giddy from hunger and exhaustion, well that\u2019s my story anyway.\u00a0 We finally shared a little bag of chips and went back down to the surgical floor.\u00a0 Still no Mom so we sat there for a bit and went back up to her room and there she was!\u00a0 We had somehow passed her in the elevators.\u00a0 She was hooked up to everything and the machines were making a lot of noise so we left.\u00a0 But now what?\u00a0 It\u2019s about 2:30 by now so we decide that we should try to get some sleep.\u00a0 So we go to the end of the hall and each took 2 visitor arm chairs and put them together to sleep on.\u00a0 Auntie went and found some pillows and I think we may have dozed a little.\u00a0 We woke up at 4:30, checked on Mom and decided we needed some food.\u00a0 So we went to find breakfast at 5am.\u00a0 The coffee was extra good that morning.\u00a0 We went back to the hospital and Mom was still sleeping so we checked in with the nurses and just sat for a while.<\/p>\n
Then I decided that I needed to make some family phone calls.\u00a0 I had called and texted my sister a few times through the night to let her know how things were going but I had Aunts and Uncles that would be worried.\u00a0 So I went down to the hospital atrium and called them one by one before they all left for church.\u00a0 I not only had to tell them how Mom\u2019s surgery had gone but we had also had a meeting with the Oncologist during the week and I needed to give them an update.<\/p>\n
The Oncologist had an incredible bedside manner, and she needed it.\u00a0 She made it very clear that Mom\u2019s cancer was not curable.\u00a0 She never used the word terminal, never gave a timeline or a date which I was thankful for.\u00a0 My Auntie A, my sister and I were all there with Mom and it was very difficult to listen to some of the worst news possible in this situation.\u00a0 I kept looking at Mom I was so worried about her and saw that soon after the doctor started talking Mom checked out.\u00a0 She just glazed over and didn\u2019t really listen to what was being said.\u00a0 I can\u2019t blame her for not wanting to know.\u00a0 The doctor also said that they still didn\u2019t have any answers as to what type of cancer Mom had.\u00a0 They had sent off the pathology to the Mayo clinic in Minnesota and a lab in Toronto to see if they could get some answers.\u00a0 There were about 3 or 4 doctors that had opinions on what the cancer was but they couldn\u2019t agree so they sent it off.\u00a0 I think Mom was in awe of how many people were involved in her case.\u00a0 We were all baffled at the situation.\u00a0 It is quite rare to have 2 independent cancers at the same time so the doctors wanted to be extra sure of what was happening.<\/p>\n
After I updated the family and some friends the morning after her surgery I went back upstairs and tried to rest.\u00a0 The phone calls were so draining. \u00a0Just repeating over and over that my Mom had terminal cancer was so difficult but it prepared me for much worse phone calls to come.\u00a0 I wanted to be there when she woke up and for part of the day to be sure that she was okay.\u00a0 I stayed till about 7:30 that night.\u00a0 I know my Aunt was there but can\u2019t remember when she left.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t hardly been home all weekend and had to get ready for work the next day.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t stop shaking as I sat in my kitchen trying to process what we had all been through.\u00a0 My kids rightfully wanted my attention but I just couldn\u2019t focus and could hardly speak.\u00a0 I still don\u2019t know how I made it through work the next day. \u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m thankful for understanding management who let me take breaks when I needed to just go for a walk or go in another room to cry or take a phone call.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how I would have made it otherwise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was around 11:30pm when the surgeon came to talk to us.\u00a0 He said that there were a lot of tumors throughout her abdomen, more than they had expected.\u00a0 They had gotten the majority of it but it had been … Continue reading