Pasith\u2019s Dad passed away 3 years ago today.\u00a0 It is one of those days that I will never forget.\u00a0 But, it\u2019s his life that is more important than his death.\u00a0 I am not the expert that I would like to be on my Father-in-law, Bpoo (Laos name for Grandpa), but I will tell one story from my perspective.\u00a0 There are many more to be told.<\/p>\n
Bpoo was quiet with sadness in his eyes.\u00a0 His losses were many; family, friends, war buddies, and his country.\u00a0 He had a justifiable anger in him that wasn\u2019t always aimed at the source, but isn\u2019t that the case for most of us?\u00a0 Pasith took me home to meet his parents and I remember the big smile on his Mom\u2019s face as she nodded hello to me.\u00a0 His Dad was in the kitchen and he was busy; didn\u2019t look up.\u00a0 But I saw a look in his eye that said he did not approve.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t take it personally and didn\u2019t think much of it at all.\u00a0 I was 16.\u00a0 A few days later Pasith told me that I wasn\u2019t allowed at the house if his Dad was home.\u00a0 Pasith didn\u2019t take this too well and I think this is where he and his Dad are a lot alike \u2013 they are both fighters.\u00a0 They both fight for what they believe and who they are.\u00a0 Well, Pasith pushed back a few times.\u00a0 I told him that I didn\u2019t want to make trouble between the two of them.\u00a0 But Pasith said that it wasn\u2019t fair that I was being shut out because I was white and he was going to prove it to his Dad.\u00a0 He was 18.\u00a0 But for me I understood that this country was not of their choosing, even though it had provided safety it had also brought them pain.\u00a0 And now he was losing his son to this country.\u00a0 They were hanging on to their culture for dear life and I was there to ruin a part of that.\u00a0 For Pasith, he was and is a Canadian and our relationship only made sense.<\/p>\n
His Dad put up a wall for a year, hoping I would go away.\u00a0 It was hard on Pasith; he felt that his Dad just needed to get to know me.\u00a0 I told him it would all happen in time. \u00a0And it did.\u00a0 After a year Bpoo finally realized that I was there to stay and said that I was allowed over to the house.\u00a0 A year after that Pasith and I got married.\u00a0 After the wedding we were at his parent\u2019s house where they were having a huge party and his Dad asked us into the back bedroom.\u00a0 He told me that I was now their daughter and a Laotian. \u00a0I was very touched.\u00a0 They each gave me a hug and we never looked back.<\/p>\n
There were a million questions that I wanted to ask Bpoo over the years.\u00a0 I wanted to know him and what had happened in his life.\u00a0 But the language barrier prevented me from asking most of the questions as well as the fact that I didn\u2019t want to pry into subjects that were so painful for him.\u00a0 So, when he got sick I knew that my time was up.\u00a0 I was never going to know him.\u00a0 Now that is 2 fathers I would never know.<\/p>\n
A few months before he passed away Pasith and I went to see him in the hospital.\u00a0 Bpoo suddenly got serious and was trying to tell me something but couldn\u2019t get the words right so he got Pasith to translate.\u00a0 Bpoo said that he owed me an apology.\u00a0 I was stunned and asked what and why?\u00a0 Bpoo said that he had mistreated me in that first year and that he was truly sorry for what he had done.\u00a0 He asked for my forgiveness.\u00a0 I said there was nothing to forgive; that I had understood his reaction then and now.<\/p>\n
Bpoo was a loving and doting Grandpa to my children.\u00a0 Alex won\u2019t remember him but we have pictures.\u00a0 Sidney spent a lot of time with him and it was a very deep loss for her.\u00a0 I had so hoped that my children would not know death at a young age like I did.\u00a0 Bpoo said she was his breath, his life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pasith\u2019s Dad passed away 3 years ago today.\u00a0 It is one of those days that I will never forget.\u00a0 But, it\u2019s his life that is more important than his death.\u00a0 I am not the expert that I would like to … Continue reading