I\u2019m off balance.\u00a0 I feel like I have been tipped off my axis.\u00a0 I think most people who have lost someone close to them can identify with how I feel right now.\u00a0 Some days it\u2019s a slight disorientation.\u00a0 Other days, like today, it feels like your brain and body aren\u2019t quite connected.\u00a0 I\u2019m in a fog.\u00a0 I have written about being in a fog before; the grief fog.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been here a lot over the last 4 years and I think I\u2019m starting to understand it a little better \u2013 while I\u2019m here I might as well figure it out.<\/p>\n
I believe that we as humans are all connected on a base level.\u00a0 I do think that there are some people that step outside of that connection and are able to commit horrific crimes against humanity.\u00a0 But the vast majority of us are connected.\u00a0 Scientifically speaking our DNA is about 99.5% identical; only a .5% variance in the human race.\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty incredible.\u00a0 The world suddenly feels a little smaller.\u00a0 And I think that this is partly where the fog and disorientation comes in.\u00a0 Someone passing from this world to the next leaves a void; a physical, emotional and spiritual void.\u00a0 There is a spot that is no longer taken up by that person.\u00a0 And it seems to me that when that happens the people closest to that person temporarily lose their balance.\u00a0 They have to readjust to their surroundings.\u00a0 It seems like a simple equation and I\u2019ve had a lot of conversations using words like adjusting, coping, moving on and shock these past few weeks, as well as the last few years.\u00a0 But there is a definite physical element to it.\u00a0 For me it feels like my mind is trying to keep up with what is happening.\u00a0 The world moves at regular pace and I\u2019m in slow motion; concentration, organization, normal daily habits, like eating, just seems impossible at times.\u00a0 Time itself seems to warp, sometimes moving quickly, sometimes not moving at all.\u00a0 The feeling takes over and leaves without warning.<\/p>\n
Largely we are designed to readjust to the new surroundings.\u00a0 Babies are born to take the place of the one who is gone.\u00a0 Life continues.\u00a0 There are situations and circumstances where the adjustment is never made.\u00a0 For instance, there are times when one spouse will die from a broken heart after their partner of 60 or 70 years is gone; or in the death of a child, something that I cannot imagine.\u00a0 But, in general we are designed to adjust and move on.\u00a0 I wish I could say that I had found a quick and easy way to get through all of this but I haven\u2019t yet.\u00a0 Believe me, if I do find a way I\u2019ll let you know.\u00a0 It takes time, so cheesy but true.\u00a0 The only other thing is to feel it when it comes.\u00a0 Don\u2019t deny it or push it aside, feel the emotions.\u00a0 The more you ignore the fog and the emotions the stronger they will become.\u00a0 So you might as well deal with it in a timely manner.<\/p>\n
Death is not easy, no matter what anyone tells you.\u00a0 But I also know that there is hope.\u00a0 Hope that the world will stop spinning. \u00a0Hope that life will continue.\u00a0 And most of all hope that the people that have passed are in a much better place than this.\u00a0 If anything we should be envious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m off balance.\u00a0 I feel like I have been tipped off my axis.\u00a0 I think most people who have lost someone close to them can identify with how I feel right now.\u00a0 Some days it\u2019s a slight disorientation.\u00a0 Other days, … Continue reading