As we drove up the hill I saw the formidable limestone walls and it was all familiar again.\u00a0 Beautiful fluffy snow was coming down and the wind was blowing as we walked across the parking lot to the main doors.\u00a0 Before I stepped through the doors I turned and looked out at the stark openness and felt the isolation.\u00a0 After getting through security we took the walk down the cold and dark hallways to our meeting room.\u00a0 We got to our meeting room and started to set up the chairs and sofas in a classic circle based on Aboriginal talking circles.\u00a0 This wouldn\u2019t be just any circle.\u00a0 Stony Mountain Penitentiary hasn\u2019t changed much in the 20 years it\u2019s been since I last visited.\u00a0 But that\u2019s a whole different story.\u00a0 This visit was very different from the last two but the first and second definitely led up to this.<\/p>\n
I have been getting together with a community group twice a month since September.\u00a0 We get together in \u201ccircles\u201d to discuss ideas about justice, truth, family and faith, among other things.\u00a0 We were all strangers in September from all walks of life and all ages but now we are friends, we trust each other.\u00a0 But we weren\u2019t just meeting for ourselves we were preparing to meet up with a group of prisoners who have been meeting inside Stony for a year.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure if this has ever happened before; \u201cinsiders\u201d and \u201coutsiders\u201d sitting in a circle discussing some of the most complex subjects in humanity.\u00a0 And this was our first meeting.\u00a0 The meeting is confidential but I can give you insight from my perspective.<\/p>\n
We began with a simple circle of our names, where we are from and our favorite dessert.\u00a0 Throughout the meeting the guys were open and honest with us and we were the same.\u00a0 It was pretty amazing to realize what we were there to accomplish; to find middle ground on these complex issues.\u00a0 And there were times when it got a little politically heated but everyone was willing and able to bring it back down.<\/p>\n
After a coffee break we came back to the circle to have our first discussion.\u00a0 Justice.\u00a0 We each gave our idea of justice.\u00a0 What had to happen to achieve justice, how it affects each of us from our own perspective.\u00a0 And is it even possible?\u00a0 It was a very interesting and engaging discussion.\u00a0 Two groups from what society would think are opposing sides were able to come to a consensus in the end on justice.\u00a0 Nothing short of amazing.\u00a0 One of the most memorable moments for me was when one of the guys from the inside said that he found it so amazing that when we were giving our definitions on justice you couldn\u2019t tell who was from the inside and who was from the outside.<\/p>\n
Other than one of the facilitators I am the only \u201cvictim\u201d in the group.\u00a0 I prefer survivor.\u00a0 And I wasn\u2019t sure of how to handle my situation but I just trusted that my story would be told at the right time.\u00a0 I have to say that I was hoping that it would be sooner than later just because I felt a bit dishonest, like I was holding something from them.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t answer questions as fully as I would have preferred.\u00a0 So when I was asked by a facilitator what brought me to the group I took a deep breath and decided that this must be the right time.\u00a0 I told them my story, the short version, and about my Mom and the work that she had done in Restorative Justice in the early 80\u2019s and her influence on my decisions in this.\u00a0 I was as vague as possible and didn\u2019t give out names or places.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned how to tailor my story to my audience over the years.\u00a0 And I told them how I have never had hate or revenge in my heart only a need for understanding.\u00a0 They sat with their jaws open and someone told me later that there were tears in their eyes.\u00a0 I want to show them that there is hope.\u00a0 Hope for them.\u00a0 Hope that they can one day meet with their victim\u2019s families, as many of them wish to do.\u00a0 And I hope that I can help them to understand their victim\u2019s families better.\u00a0 And I would like to ensure that at these men will remember me when they do leave prison and know that there is another way.\u00a0 They have choices.<\/p>\n
First and foremost I belong to this group to honor the memory of my parents.\u00a0 I know that this is what both of them would want.\u00a0 Neither of my parents was about hate or revenge.\u00a0 They were both about healing and redemption.\u00a0 I am continuing that legacy for their memory, my freedom and my children\u2019s future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As we drove up the hill I saw the formidable limestone walls and it was all familiar again.\u00a0 Beautiful fluffy snow was coming down and the wind was blowing as we walked across the parking lot to the main doors.\u00a0 … Continue reading